Being around confident people makes you also feel a little bit more confident and more positive; it is like they have that positive energy that steers you up. It is if they live in this blissfulness of who they are. This attitude is also towards others, as they accepted themselves, they accepted in the same sense others too.
Actually, what is self confidence?
The American dictionary say’s: belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-reliance; assurance.
Or as Sarah Jones from Inrovert Alpa puts it, self confidence is a healthy self-perception and increasing of self actualization.
Self confidence is an attitude towards yourself. I will explain, in this article, which are the aspects that make or ruin your self confidence. Self confidence starts by a positive way of thinking of yourself, then start acting towards success. After this start accepting others the shame way you accepted yourself, help them achieve their goals by motivating them too. If you do this, you make a complete circle of acting out of confidence. The more you get used to it, the more confident you become.
Thoughts of who I am
There is a way of thinking, you may not even be aware of it, that pulls you in a negative circle. Yes, by being too negative or mean towards yourself; no one is perfect, even if they pretend to be.
Making mistakes is something we humans all do, it is a way of life, no one has perfect knowledge, perfect insight, perfect discernment; we make mistakes you should not blame yourself for. Next time you do it better, see it as an opportunity for improvement. People will like you more if you do not fear to show your imperfections, people will feel that you are more human, instead of showing how perfect you are. So acknowledge your mistakes, forgive yourself, see your history as something you can write in a novel full of colorful stories, a path of learning and discipline. You are not your mistake.
Do not compare yourself to others, there will be always people who have what you don’t have, like more friends, more money, higher grades, more appreciation, more respect, being more liked, beautiful etc. Like if they have all the luck and you don’t. Stop comparing. You are where you are in life right now, you will be what you want to be, not what others say you should be. You are not what you have.
If you hear critic, think of what may be true, use it for your advantage and let go of the rest. Do not take those negative words on your own account, you did not know, it is not your fault. ‘Please take no as a feedback and not as a reaction’ — Todd Brison. You are not what others say. Don’t let yourself control by others by pursuing their standards. You don’t have to fit in their standards, it was their choice. Do not feel bad about it if you do not “fit” in.
Do not give away your power by saying this or that person makes me crazy, because blaming others for your misfortune places the power of change to positiveness outside of you.
Do not underestimate yourself, there is awesomeness inside of everyone, you maybe just not discovered it yet.
There is no one way of achievement, but many. If one failed, well, there is another. If one failed, it does not mean that YOU failed. This was not your way, there is an another. Stop focusing on what stops you, focus on a solution that brings you further. Remember that you are not your achievement, the achievement is yours!
A lot of times we think bad of our bodies, like if it was a worthless piece of junk. Instead of being thankful, that we have eyes to see beauty, arms to hug love, legs to walk in awesomeness, ears to hear amazingness, a mouth to taste goodness. Stop thinking of your body as a deprived, crippled, rippled, fat old junk. The way you think of your body, is reacting in your. The language you send to your own body, if you believe it or not, your body will react on your thoughts, you radiate it to your environment too, in your body language, then your environment acts on that. You are beautiful, in who you are, what is missing is your smile, your positiveness. Act in gratitude in who you are, you will see, your whole being and your body will act on that, now in a positive way. You are not your body, your body is you.
You are a sexual being, that means you have desires. Do not aim your sexual desires towards yourself, by allowing your frustrations, failures, bad moods, tensions, boredom to have discharge through sexual release aimed towards yourself by mastrubation and/or porn. Learn to have more self control (this is hard to do) by not allowing burning up your sexual/emotional energy. You will start feeling more energized, more in the present. Start having more joy, more out warded towards people, aim your emotional energy at them. The positive feedback (of people and your emotional world) will resolve most of your bad swings. You will walk with more confidence, I promise.
‘Use the negativity in your life to make yourself better.’ — Lizzie Velasquez
After you got rid of pessimism, now it is time to start building self confidence.
Acting towards confidence
Being at peace with yourself gives an immediate boost in self confidence. Peace with yourself means you acknowledged your shortcomings, and in your actions you are selfless, I mean, you are not trying to get something to grow your ego, but acting in what you can give.
Self control / time schedule: set little goals for the next day, week and month. Do not begin with big things, just start small. When you achieve as what you have planned, you start building success. This means you start having more control over your life. This increases self confidence too.
Knowledge: Building a positive self concept. What is what you like about yourself? Who do you want to be? Dream about it. Treat yourself as if you are already there. Doubt kills confidence, it weakens you. Fear paralyzes you.
Fear of failure/rejection: Concentrate on your success, how will you feel when you achieve it, how will it be like being there. You are not separated from what you want to achieve. You do not have to earn it from the outside world. It will be yours, it is yours. Despise fear as a judgement, a lie already outspoken even when you didn’t even tried to achieve your goal.
Acting in boldness: Do not sit there in defense, do not start explaining why this or that. Act, start making room for yourself, start what you always knew was the right way, your way. You will see, that you gain more and more grip on your life, you are not the defeated, you are a winner, you can not loose, only if you give up. Start acting out of courage. You can not win if you just sit there and watch. After you succeeded, your confidence grows. Go for it now. ‘The future is promised to no one’ — Wayne Dyer.
Choose your friends wisely. People have a huge amount of influence on your life. If you have “friends” who just tolerate you, but are not encouraging, reassuring and accepting, then maybe it’s time to search for new friends, friends with whom you feel at home.
Feel comfortable in who you are right now. Be at peace with yourself. Do not try to reach for something that is not meant for you or not meant for you right now. You will grow in it, by going trough it. By experience you will gain knowledge and experience in who you are.
Lastly, act in goodness. Do what is right.
Helping others to achieve a healthier, more satisfying life gives you a boost of confidence. This is precious; it will last. You will build a sustainable confidence not based on outside matters, but a blast of goodness radiating from inside out.
Be that positive person towards yourself, positive to others and be at peace in who you are.
‘The most empowering thoughts you can have are those of peace, joy, love, acceptance and willingness. Powerful, joyful, loving thoughts stem from your willingness to allow the world to be as it is.’ — Wayne Dyer
Now you become a person full of blissfulness, a person radiating positiveness. You are acting in self-confidence.