Love to a machine

Fake Maria from the movie Metropolis

Our desires today consist in a huge part of appetite, we have marginalised on it that for decades. Induced over and over by our capitalistic western culture. To get more for less. To get things we do not need or not want. The same is with our sexual desires and sex robots. Although the idea of such is not new, to have a companion that resembles a human being. Only now our fantasy comes more and more to reality. To fulfil what we always wanted!

The questions I have, are why and how will this benefit? Does this benefit at all. Or is this yet another thing of the past we desired, only to discover that it ends in nowhere.

Sex toys

In the sixties. We disowned the way we lived then. One nuclear family. One household. One union. We came to the discovery that sex is not holy. That sex is not the equal of a relationship or the opposite. That sex should not be bond within boundaries. Boundaries we oh so loved to brake. Then we started to reflect this to the outside world. Indulging in pleasure became more and more mainstream.

We found more means to fulfil our needs with substitutes. First with porn. Then VR porn, now virtual sex and in the future sex robots. There are already brothels using sex-dolls and soon robots. If we continue the way we continue now, we will have more sex with sex-robots then with humans. In Japan half of the men between 18–34 is virgin. In the rest of the world, actual sexual intercourse is declining.

For now, sex dolls/robots are mostly used by men. Some people worry that this will detrimentally affect how we see women. According to the researcher Kathleen Richardson, we will see women as objects. Objects you can own and do with it whatever you desire. Short of a slave.

Virtual Reality sex

Let us go digisexual. Or in other words, it is a preference for sex robots or other sex machines or worlds (Hentai?!) over people. I don’t know if this something that I call twisted. Or one of many other sexual orientations or something of a deeper need. A need we did not find in our flesh counter-partners.

With advances in technology, sex is more accessible than ever. Let it be by our loose norms or by the possibility to meet thousands of people via an App. So does the accessibility to the variety and the ability to have sex with characters we invent. Or the ability to lust for the “ideal” body to touch, kiss, suck and lick.

Sure, this is in one way a stress outlet. ‘Why do we need to commit to people to whom we feel sexual desires?’ Is a question more pressing now, then ever before. The answer to this is a twist. It is a thought-change many needs to make (read on to find out).

Maybe, the worry for many people is this. Can AI replace a human being? Is this possible to an advanced machine? With AI that resembles a human being? Like the virtual companion Joi in the movie Blade Runner?

From the movie Blade Runner 2049

A machine that is good in mimicking sex and other things. Our “perfect” fantasy becomes round and in a way real real.

Seeking fulfilment

Will the sex robot “be” what we want? Do we know what we want? We think that with sex robots we will finally have what we always wanted?!

Let us all be a bit more introvert and think of what is truly valuable to us. What is home to us and think of what is worth our time. Let us all be a bit more considerate. Let us all slow down in our overachievement and go back to our basic needs. And build a sustainable future from there. Instead of following pursuit of desire. Let us think!

M’I beautiful enough? M’I smart enough? M’I popular enough? M’I successful enough and the list goes on and on. No, these are questions of the ego! It is one questioning the self. No, think! Think a bit more! Think deeper!

The assumption of “amatonormativity.” Is the idea that, as Arizona State University philosophy professor Elizabeth Brake writes. “Everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship.”

A need we expect that will be filled by the other. A need filled through a bond. Smart introverted people know this already. They are avoidant to entice in our overly extroverted society. And overly sexual interactions. Our society will burn-out by its own overachievement. It is causing anxiety for one and burn-out for others.

Hook-up culture

Maybe this hook-up culture. With its inability to commit comes from the deep insecurities, the younger generation has overall.

Women exploit exposure and men exploit gain. A push-pull technique. A technique fed on the insecurities. That is leading us to an emotionally burnt-out society. A society where people distrust the other for the lack of trust, believe and hope. We rather find our sanctuary with an animal companion or a machine, that satisfies our unholy and unblessed desires. Although, we see an opposite trend. If we take Japan for example, we see that 50% is virgin in the age group 18–34 years. Hooking-up or messing around is becoming less and less common and more of the past.

The future

Sex robots will embody what we think we want. How we imagine the future to be. We will discover that the way we think the world works is inherently wrong. How we relate to things and people is wrong.

If we think that it is always about getting that climax and not being with that person. Not having a connection with that person, then we missed it. We in the westernised world have mist it. Surely we build nice things, but not so nice in peoples lives and the world at large.

Maybe the idea of sex robots is a good one. The seeking for pleasure will be solely kept for a robot. It will also learn us what sex is not. It will give us the opportunity to finally leave our emotional burn-out self. Not seeking pleasure or assurance, but seeking for real connection. Intimacy. The real one. To rediscover (or maybe discover) that it is about people.

I do not downplay engaging in sexual desires. As long as people have healthy relationships with themselves and others around them. The advantages of sexual development in machines can actually enlarge our sexual world for the better.


Maybe, when we move away from the pornified images and move towards sexbots. To machines build for our desires. We might discover new horizons of pleasure, and come to a higher consciousness of what pleasure is and why it exists. Instead of pushing away or engaging in. To eventually end in a burn-out self.

‘Throbbing orbs, snuggy suits, vaguely body-shaped pulsating devices, vibrating octopi, or remote-controlled tactile technology — these bots could mean a startling new range of human sexual, sensual and intimate experiences for people of all genders and sexual proclivities.’ — Chelsea G. Summers

And after all, no people are involved in the process. No hearts are broken. It is kinda free love.

As long as we can connect with real people and disconnect from things that are seen as real, but are unreal or untrue. Having a sexbot or something along the side is not wrong and damaging at all. It will be an additive and not a substitute for something. That it is not a projection of our ideals, but a mere addition to our life. If we can live by that, it is all good if you ask me.

I hope we will come to knowledge before these robots arrive. That it is not all about the looks, but the whole picture. It is the radiation or vibe of a person. The connection you have. Being sexual is way more than a mind-blowing orgasm caused by a machine. A machine that can continue even after you said STOP.


I sincerely hope that the pornified world or the so called heterosexual gaze will end. That we discover that lust is one layer deep and love many more. I sincerely hope that we will see that lust is like an empty vessel. A waste of energy to pursue. A Fata Morgana. Sex robots end their substitutes will only make this more and more clear!

Our global consciousness increases each year. By the time we have sex robots, we will know by experience that sex robots will not substitute our endless desire. It will be an echo chamber. Where our deeper desires will only be more amplified when indulged for substitute.

It is the desire for a person that should exist. And not for an economic, political, sexual or other advantage. It is not physical, it is not the ego. It is the emotional, spiritual connection one makes and wants to maintain. It is to form bonds with people.

For us to discover this. We do NOT need the intellectual knowledge of it, but we need the bad taste it has. In one way or another to stop us, from taking action on our infant desires. Like stopping chewing our nails, by putting a distasteful substance on it. The next time we start to chew on it, we immediately stop and start to see people. Instead, looking through a lens of desire. See people, see potential connection.


Aron, August 2020



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